2008 November 11

Once again I spent more time messing around online than writing. I wonder if I should try writing during downtime at work again this year, either on paper or using my Palm Pilot. I've also lost track of where I was going at the end of my writing yesterday, I have no idea what the last sentence is about.

Words today: 1046
Total for the month so far: 11283

After putting mention of that (the alternate worlds possibilities, not the TV show) in the minimal notes I was making about each days reading I went back to spending time with Veronika when she didn't have plans. I realised that I had been more distant than I wanted to be with the extra reading and nights out, grand gestures had never been my style so I simply made an effort to be around more often. It seemed that she was pleased with me being around but either hadn't been missing me the way I'd thought she might or simply didn't want to talk about it.

With the upcoming break she was going to be having from work she asked if I'd be interested in going away with a few friends for a week or so. The weather was supposed to be good enough for tramping and it was a long time since she'd been roughing it at all. I had never been tramping in my life, the closest I had come had been the walks around local parks (many years earlier) and it was obvious that wasn't what was being put forward as a plan here. I had no idea how I'd enjoy being away from all the modern amenities I had come to accept as a normal part of life. I was willing to try it though, if for no other reason than it was something that Veronika wanted to do. Dismissing things out of hand was also unwise, or so I'd been told for many years.

Arranging a week off at work was very simple, with my main boss anyway, all I had to do was fill in a form saying "I want these days off" and I got an okay two days later. Getting the same message from Kevin proved a little harder; I had to talk to him about why I was wanting the time off, how I could be contacted, etc. When he first asked how they'd be able to contact me I was taken aback for two reasons, 1 they'd already shown themselves able to find information on me that they shouldn't have managed to get and 2 why would they need me? I wasn't really doing anything yet but reading math equations and the early research. I hadn't even been put in the position of doing anything new with stuff left in my second office.

When I questioned him about those two issues he simply told me that there was a chance there would be bigger tests coming up soon and he wanted me to see the first stage version before they progressed in case I was able to spot anything the rest of them hadn't. I came close to jumping at the chance to see the experiment in action, but I calmed myself quickly and saw amusement in his eyes. My desire was obviously plain to see as he told me that I would get to see what was currently worked out the next evening I came in. He also deigned to tell me that there would be no interruption of my plans with my friends simply because of evening work, most of the other staff working then had their own friends and family they were kept away from on occasion and everyone would welcome the certainty of knowing they had a week in which their plans would not be interrupted or canceled.

It took less than five minutes from me telling Veronika that I was going to be able to have that time off to the point she had started packing stuff and checking that there wasn't anything that was going to need replaced. It was probably a good thing we weren't at my place when I let her know, I don't think either of us were ready for her to be going through my drawers to make sure I had clothes I'd be comfortable in while we were out in the bush. I also realised that she was intending us to be away for nearly the entire week, not just a couple of nights like I had initially thought she was meaning.

Having agreed to go I wasn't about to back out now, but I did wonder if the sheer amount of time we'd be spending together and with whomever else agreed to go would make me uncomfortable. I wasn't expecting to be particularly happy with the amount of walking and being 'stuck' with other people would be a negative over and above that. I couldn't bring myself to ask the question though, it seemed to me that I'd be perceived as asking whether or not I'd get tired of spending time with her and there was no way I wanted to make Veronika think that I'd been thinking that.

She went through a list of things I was going to need to make sure I had or could borrow. Most of it I was fairly certain I already had, some I knew I didn't. My desire to own thermals had never been higher than it was last winter and even then I hadn't bothered to look at them in the stores I was already in for other things. As to footwear I'd need to see what Veronika thought of my boots, they'd lasted a fair while but I didn't wear them often.

I helped for a while with her preparation but decided I was more in the way than helping and so kissed her goodbye and walked home. On the way I started thinking about how my attitude had changed in the past few months, back when Veronika and I had become more serious the thought of spending more than a day with her consecutively would likely have been unpleasant, not because I didn't like her much but because I wouldn't have wanted to spend a lot of time with anyone without solitude for a longer period.

Going back to the research was easy when I got back to my place and the piles of papers on the table. I hadn't thought about wormholes all afternoon and wondered at why when I realised that. Then I wondered at why I'd been surprised, the research was intense, the people working on it were the "pretty people".